I have never publicly spoken about the profound miracle that I experienced with my dad a few years ago, and now it's time to share it, and give you a gift in his honor.
In 2018, I graduated from UCLA's meditation teacher training program, and boldly declared "I am a spiritual teacher. I am here to help people calm their minds, open their hearts, and lead from love."
I moved to Maui, started teaching meditation, accidentally got Neem Karoli Baba as my Guru and Ram Dass as my teacher, and my gifts unfurled beyond my wildest dreams.
Suddenly, I was channeling songs! I was channeling meditations! I could pronounce all the words in the Hanuman Chalisa! I could play any instrument I picked up! I was a pure conduit of the divine, and it was magical.
Every Monday, a group of up to 60 of us would gather for what I called The Monday Heartspace, where I would channel a meditation and music, then we would jam and have a potluck. I was living my dream, and it was so magical.
I started recording these Heartspaces, and realized that most of the time what I said surprised even me! I wanted to re-read what I had said, so I asked my dad if he would transcribe them for me.
He had just retired, and AI didn't exist yet, so he had lots of free time and was happy to help me in my mission to help people calm their minds and open their hearts to lead from love.
My dad transcribed a lot of Heartspaces, and as he did, he found his own heartspace. He had been a narcissistic, abusive asshole for my entire life, and then suddenly, he began to heal. He got softer, and the day Ram Dass died, he called me and actually expressed empathy (for the first time literally ever). I sobbed, and in that moment, I felt his soul. Our last name means Angel Heart in German, and I finally felt his angel heart, and unconditional love flowing between us.
From then on, I was able to commune with my dad's soul every time we talked on the phone. Even as the dementia took over, beyond the words, I could feel the pure love that he had connected to. When he was dying, I felt it every time I put my hand on his heart.
I gave up being a spiritual teacher when I realized I wasn't integrated enough to teach anyone anything, and I have come to see that I think that entire trip happened just so I could transmit healing, divine love to my dad and so he could finally know what it felt like to receive unconditional love after a lifetime of suffering. This transmission wasn't enough to heal his life of CPTSD, but it completely changed our relationship.
On the inside, my dad was lonely and trapped in a prison of his own thoughts - he created a reality where he was incredibly mean to himself, disconnected from himself and others, and he filled himself up with sugar and social media to try to distract himself from the pain. Literally, he died because he overdosed on sugar (he forgot he had diabetes bc of his dementia) and no one was there to check on him because he had pushed away everyone who loved him.
My dad was living check to check after he retired, but once when I called him scared that I would run out of money as a graduate student with four low paying jobs, he immediately PayPaled me $1000 (whereas my wealthy mother told me to go work at McDonald's bc she was never supporting me again). That's how generous he was. He tried to be loving and giving, even when he was in such deep suffering. I want to be like my Dad, and give back even when right now I haven't really worked since he died.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I have a gift to offer you in honor of my dad, Kurt David.
I have spent the last two years learning the Emotional Freedom Technique, specifically certifying in Tapping Out of Trauma, and now finishing an Advanced EFT Certification with Sonya Sophia, because I don't want to pass on the emotional baggage that my parents gave me onto my children.
I want everyone to be liberated from the prison of their own thoughts, free from the traumatizing things that happened to them, and able to love and accept themselves AND create a magical reality through manifestation. I want everyone to be able to speak up for their needs, their desires, their boundaries, and their pleasure. I know it's possible, because I have done this work on myself, and I am living proof.
So I want to offer it to you. I have 50 hours of sessions to gift to my community in honor of my dad, Kurt David, and I would be delighted to show up in a space of unconditional love and presence, to hold you and listen to you, as you let go of whatever feelings or stories are holding you back from having a calm mind and an open heart, so you can lead with love, too.
Learning the Emotional Freedom Technique is how I manifested my magical Forest Love temple home, how I became free of my eating disorder and all of my food sensitivities, and how I embraced my calling and dharma. What kind of magic could it do for you?!
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